Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Little VayCay

Abbot and I recently got to go on a small vacation with our maker and her family.  It was a visit to a relative's house.  Abbot wondered what a relative was so I had to explain to him that our maker has what is called a "family" with sisters and brothers.  Aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, and cousins are also "family".  Then there are family members who are related by marriage, and these are called "the in-laws", probably because they are the opposite of "outlaws", who usually don't like each other in western films.  The concept of "family" is foreign to both Abbot and I, as we do not have and family except each other and our maker.  We were very excited to see what the fuss was about, seeing family members talk and have fun.  Abbot and I had a fun ride to our destination with the sunroof of the car opened up.  I had to hold Abbot down so he didn't soar out of our car and into the car of someone else.

When we arrived there was so much to do at our maker's sister's house.  She took kindly to us and wasn't very embarrassed by us at all.  She let us play games like shuffleboard, foosball, billiards, and cards.  Oh boy, did they play a lot of cards.  Abbot took extremely well to the shuffleboard.  He was high scorer and everyone wanted him on their team.  That little monster smiled all night.  However, he always does.

We even teamed up together once, but we lost to Uncle Bill and Aunt Ann, so Abbot kicked me off his team.  I played with Uncle Bill then, and Abbot played with Aunt Ann, and Abbot emerged a winner.

Foosball was difficult for us since our feet do not touch the floor but we wedged ourselves between the turning sticks and did a pretty good job.  It was hard to master but we got the hang of it.

I was particularly good at this game, guiding the ball with my tiny plastic players.

Abbot became indignant when I beat him a few times so he hopped up on the table and stood in front of the goal, which I told him was not allowed, and not good sportsmanship.  And it wasn't good monstership either.   

Next we tried pool, or "billiards" it is also called.  My maker was not very good at this game and I beat her handily.  Pretty good for a stuffed monster who had never held a pool cue in his existence.  To be fair, I wasn't all that great either, but I looked amazing holding the stick.

I was asked to tend the bar while the other guests played games for a while.  I ate a few too many peanuts and all I can say is they are difficult to open without having fingers.  But I did it, by joe.  My teeth came in handy when we couldn't find the bottle opener.  I think Uncle Bill liked that feature about me.

Of course Abbot and I would never drink alcohol, mostly because we would get wet and it would be bad for our stuffing, but we sure liked pretending to partake in the festivities.  Abbot gargled and giggled like he was inebriated, but he was not.  He legitimately fell off his bar stool only because he was reaching for a falling peanut.  It was a late night of music and yelling and laughing and playing.  We enjoyed it all.

The next morning we got up early to get a ride in the Corvette.  I could not barely see over the steering wheel, so sadly, I was not allowed to drive.  But we went for a nice ride to the beach later in the day.

Even though I tried to convince Auntie Ann I really WAS tall enough to drive, while seated ON the steering wheel, she told us we still could not drive.  Abbot and I didn't have a driver's license.

When we got to the beach the sun was blazing hot.  Abbot and I don't need sunscreen, of course, because we suffer from fading, not tanning.  So, not too much sun for us.  We made sure we turned over every 15 minutes so we'd get equally faded on both sides.  Nothing worse than an uneven fade.

After the beach had warmed us up too much we went for a ride on the boat.  The boat we actually got to drive.  Uncle Bill was a little embarrassed being seen with us, but he was a good host and let us drive, if only to back out of the slip. That was fine with us, though.

Abbot and I waved and wished a bon voyage to all the boaters and passers-by, and after our little ride we collected our belongings and headed back to the relative's house for more cards and games.  My maker has a nice family and I can't wait to go visiting again.  Until next time.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

There are no Fleas at a Flea Market

Abbot and I had not been on an adventure in a long time.  You may blame our maker.  She has been busy.  
Abbot and I have been watching her scurry about the house from our velvet lined bench near the west window of the house.  There we sat all winter, mildly forgotten, save for the small hello we received from time to time.  The long winter filled us all with melancholy, watching snow slowly turn to rain and then nothing else. But today the sun shone and the heat rose from the earth as Abbot and I enjoyed an outing like we had never had before. 

We visited the flea market with our maker and met some very unusual friends that came from many places around the country.  Of course Abbot was confused by the concept of a flea market.  He expected it to be full of tiny fleas buying fruit and vegetables.  He had to wonder what we would find at such a place, and why we would even want to venture there.  I told him that was not the nature of a flea market, but he could not get past the idea that there were actually no fleas at a flea market, but I suppose at one time there probably were.  Once we arrived inside the gates Abbot and I were all aflutter at what we saw. 

There were dolls and tools and bottles.  There were statues and plants and furniture.  There was jewelry and clothes and toys.  Buttons, fabric, dishes, pictures, paintings, postcards....and people.  And food!  There was food and all kinds of amazing smells.  We sat atop a swift footed statue.  We played hide and seek with dolls, dashing beneath the tables and around the ankles of the crowd.  Abbot rode a fake horse and even tried on a pair of boots.  I donned a hat and sat at the vanity, pretending to primp for a date. We tried not to get into trouble, and any time we looked like we were going to, our maker put us in our bag for safe keeping.

Hardly anyone laughed at us, which was nice, but there were a lot of interesting characters at the flea market, so we felt we fit right in.  Abbot and I enjoyed perusing the merchandise, and even playing a little dress up.  

Even the mannequin leg was a surprise, protruding from a ceramic golf bag. And why would anyone want to buy just one mannequin leg?  A person needs at least TWO mannequin legs. Three at the most.

Abbot wanted a pet horse and pulled our maker's sleeve for a full hour trying to get her to buy him one, but she did not.  She told Abbot he didn't need a pet horse since he had me.

I tried on some new hair, and even though it tickled my face, and I like being tickled, I decided my own green wooly face was sufficiently appropriate for me.  I'm not sure the vendor agreed.

There seemed to be a cowboy theme to this fair as we saw many pairs of cowboy boots.  Abbot, of course, wanted to take them home, not to wear though, but to sleep in, like a for his head, one for his feet.

Abbot was in awe when we came upon a booth full of cookie jars.  He immediately removed the lids and dug inside them for cookies. The tsk tsk-ing of the vendor only barely stopped him from tipping the lids, and to his disappointment, there were no cookies inside any of them.  Abbot looked at me, cocked his head in confusion, wondering why anyone would buy a cookie jar with no cookies inside.  I had to tell him I hadn't the faintest idea.  It made no sense to me either.  We leapt from the table before someone tried to open US.

Back in the car our maker let us play inside her purchases, which were two brown suitcases.  She said these were very good cases for two, because they didn't smell, and two, they were big enough to put Abbot and I inside if she wanted to take us on a trip someday.  That made me happy.  Abbot, however began to pout.  I looked at him and asked what was wrong, and asked hadn't he had a fun day?  He kicked his little monster foot and said it WAS indeed a great day, but he had really hoped to have seen some fleas.
Until next time.