Sunday, December 12, 2010

Snowy Days and Deep Thought

The wind was howling this afternoon. The snow was coming down sideways, making it difficult to see past my yard. When the wind whistles this time of year and there is snow on the ground surely it will be an inside day. My maker made me a new sweater and warmers for my ears. She made Abbot some booties and a hat for his ears. We were feeling all cozy.
Abbot collected some of my maker's other creatures in the house. He's been playing "Christmas" with them. Being Abbot's first Christmas, he's very excited. It's only my second Christmas, and although I'm an old hat at it, it still makes me tingle and jingle inside. I've been reading Abbot all the famous tales before bedtime such as, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", "A Christmas Carol", and his favorite "little tree" by e.e. cummings. He seems to understand the meaning of Christmas through the reading of these stories. We've also watched my maker's favorite Christmas movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" and Abbot, who is easily distracted, sat still for the entire movie, enthralled at the concept of a guardian angel. He wondered if he had one, so being curious myself, I asked my maker. "Yes, Caruthers. Both you and Abbot have a guardian angel. Everyone has one. Please tell Abbot not to worry. They're very real and one is watching him right now." I told this to Abbot and first, he looked around himself. Then he sat very still, so as not to scare the angel, then quickly turned his head upwards to see if he could see it hovering overhead. It was amusing to watch, and I didn't want to tell him that guardian angels are usually invisible, however, my maker said sometimes they can be someone you know and see every day. How could that be, I wondered? My maker said, "They can live inside of someone you know, someone who loves and cares about you, someone who watches out for your well being. Sometimes you may not even know they are doing this for you, but they are." That sort of made me feel safe inside, knowing an angel was guarding me. But alas, it brought up more questions for me.
For one, if everyone has a guardian angel, then why do bad things happen to people? People get sick, get injured, get hurt by others, or even DO the hurting. Why is there so much hurt in the world if everyone has a guardian angel? This one I'd have to ponder.
In the meantime, Abbot assembled his pals onto the big chair. He chose the book "The Snowy Day" to read this afternoon as the wind rushed through the sky. Why was it in such a hurry?
We were on the page in which the boy smacks the snow covered tree with the stick. Everyone liked that part the best because they knew the snow was going to plop right onto his head. That always makes Abbot laugh. The elves in our group appreciated the boy's red snowsuit. They thought his pointy hat was the epitome of fashion.

As I finished the story the other creatures hopped off the chair and scurried back to their play. Abbot and I posed for this Christmas portrait, our very first together. I had a lot of questions about those angels. They were floating in the back of my mind and kind of picking at my soul. My maker, who always knows what I'm thinking, felt my uncertainty. Abbot, however, yanked my ears and begged for a Christmas story in which he's the main character. I told him I'd think of one and I'd write it here in my blog. It would take me a couple days to think it up, and he would need to be patient. He promised patience and he promised not to bother me while I think. He jumped off the chair and ran to join his friends, who I imagined were doing something naughty when I heard Abbot tell them to stop because, not only was Santa watching them, their guardian angels were too.
So, I asked my maker, if everyone has an guardian angel then why do bad things happen? "Caruthers," she said, "That's a good question. I would think people hurt each other because they have the free will to do so. It's a choice we make. We can choose to be good, or choose to be bad. A guardian angel may be hovering overhead, like Abbot thought, screaming at us to do the right thing. But if we're not listening well enough, or if we are and don't care, that's when trouble happens." OK, well that I could understand. I can CHOOSE to steal a cookie, or wait until I'm offered. Either way I'll get the cookie. So why does stealing it and getting it right away feel so good? "Sometimes, Caruthers, being bad can feel good, and being good can feel bad. But ultimately, after those initial feeling pass, being good DOES feel good and being bad DOES feel bad. You may not understand so well because you're so good. Remember when you left on an adventure when Abbot was sick? It felt fun at first, but then you felt bad. You knew you made the wrong choice. A guardian angel can only direct you, they cannot make a decision FOR you." So, why do people get sick? Why are there poor people? Why isn't everyone happy? Guardian angels should make sure bad things don't happen, shouldn't they? "Not necessarily, Caruthers. Things happen to people because that's just life. Angels help you through it, maybe help you makes sense of it. If everyone was happy all the time, or sad all the time, they couldn't appreciate the other. Do you understand?" I supposed I did. The purpose of life is to teach and for us to learn, was that right? And some people learn faster than others, which is why bad things happen, which is why there is so much unhappiness. "Happiness lives inside all of us, Caruthers. The trick is to let it out and shine." I liked that thought. Happiness shining like the snow on a sunny day. Shining like sugar on a cookie. Shining like a halo above an angel's head.
May your happiness shine this Christmas season.
My next post will be Abbot's Christmas story.
Until next time.

1 comment:

April said...

Oh Caruthers, what a lovely Christmas always get right to the heart of things. It is funny because you are all gathered around cozy, reading a Winter story and here we are, Martha, Henry D, Winkle, and me...OH! Who is Winkle??? Why he is new and we will tell more about him later. But for now they are all in my arms (In fact it's not easy to type with three Woolies-one who is extra big- in your arms!)And WE are gathered together reading about YOU and Abbot and your friends.

You know, I just realized one reason I love you and Abbot and the Woolies so very much is because you all remind me of my Mom. I know that sounds silly but you remind me of her playfulness and her love for pretending and creating and having fun. When I have you Woolies close, I have my Mom again. She is my Guardian Angel, Caruthers. And your maker is right...we all have Guardian Angels. I think you may be an angel yourself. You might be made of wool and buttons and stitches but inside you are a mixture of wisdom, tenderness, innocence, love, and a pinch of silliness. All those things seem to be the right ingredients for guardian angels, don't they? Merry Christmas, dearest of all Monsters.